Transgressions
by Rin-elwin
Summary: This is a story of love, friendship, and betrayal. For ages man and demons alike have disregarded sin as an occurrence of no importance, but when sin is committed against you, you come face to face with your transgressions.
1. Chapter 1

**Transgressions**

by Rinelwin

_Italics_ - flashback

- quote

**Chapter One**

Kagome lifted her head from her pillow to look at her husband as he dressed for work. He lifted his hands to pull his shirt over his head, and the muscles on his back flexed suggestively. He was so beautiful, so wonderfully male. His brute strength and usual scowl did nothing to hide the sculpted features that attracted the eyes of many a lady, though he didn't seem to notice. Of course, it helped that he had a trust fund to accommodate for his unpredictable temper, but to Kagome his perks and flaws added to his allure; he was everything she could ever dream of wanting in the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

He could have had any woman he had set his golden eyes on, but he'd picked her. Her, Kagome the nut case from the Art Club, and she loved him even more for that. For seeing who she was behind her indifferent attitude and unleashing the woman she was meant to be. They balanced each other quite nicely, she thought. Her being friendly, and polite, and him being rude and solitaire. She wouldn't trade him for the world.

She sighed and he turned around to face her, gold eyes clashed with brown. His mouth quirked up in a little smile at the mussed state of her hair. He stalked over to the bed, like a lithe tiger, knelt one knee on the mattress, and bent down to give a bittersweet brush of lip on lip. Her eyes closed at once with pleasure. He pulled away with a smile on his face.

"Good morning," he said huskily.

"Morning," she replied as she opened her eyes with a goofy smile.

Sometimes she couldn't believe she still reacted like this after three years of being married to him. She should've already pass the Newly Wed status, shouldn't she?

Inuyasha chuckled and returned to his task. Kagome sat up and continued to watch him put on his suit, piece by piece. When he pulled out his tie she got up and padded over to where he stood in front of the full-length mirror. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, tip-toed to look over his shoulder into the mirror and performed the art of tying his necktie. She finished straightening it and looked up to see Inuyasha looking at her in the mirror. His lips lifted in one corner and he blew her a kiss. She laughed, slapped his derriere then walked off to take a shower.

Inuyasha's gaze followed her until the bathroom door closed behind her. Then he looked back in the mirror at his not-so-perfectly-done tie. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't get it out right, not that he would tell her. He wondered why it was that he was thinking about it, if before he would just put on his shoes and not worry about it. He liked her uniqueness, as she called it, and he would never asked her to change it. Her thoughtfulness touched him; she was always doing something for him whether it was making breakfast, sketching him, or painting their room that awful lime green. "To give it a lively, loved look" she'd said. It never bothered him before.

Shaking his head as if to shake away his thoughts, he quickly undid his tie, and retied it, picked up his shoes and went to work.

* * *

Kagome ran her painting knife along the fine line of the man's back. 

A knock pierced through the calming silence of the studio, startling her and causing her to smudge the details she was adding to define the muscles on the figure's broad shoulders.

"Blast it!" she said as she put down her tools. Another knock followed. "I'm coming!"

She got up and walked to the huge, hanger doors and opened one a crack.

"Finally!" said Kikyo, Kagome's best friend and harshest critic.

"I hope you know that you just ruined another fine painting!" replied Kagome.

Kikyo just smiled faintly and walked in. "Well, it's horridly cold outside, you know. Did you want me to catch pneumonia?"

Kagome chuckled, "If it'll save a few of my paintings then sure!"

Kikyo gave her a mock scowl, then went to the make-shift kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Kagome just walked back to her easel and picked up her oil paint. She scrutinized the painting a bit more to try and contemplate how to fix it without having to resort to paint remover. She was never as good at removing the paint as she was at putting it on.

She bit the end of her paint brush, looking at the painting at an angle, as if that would enlighten her as to what to do about her current predicament. The sweet smell of coffee wafted from behind and she looked over her shoulder to see Kikyo observing her handiwork.

"You like it?"

"Yes, very sensual. And, may I say, quite different from your usual. What inspired this?"

"Oh... same old same old."

"Ah, interesting. One minute he inspires dark paintings, the next outstanding moderns, and now this: a nude man and a waterfall."

Kagome chuckled. "Yes, well it works out fine, doesn't it?"

Kikyo's mouth quirked up a little. "Yes, I guess it does."

Kagome raised an eyebrow, "You guess? Oh, you ruin my paintings now insult them! You better buy me a _very _good present for my birthday this year!"

Kikyo laughed outright at that, and said, "What are you talking about Kagome? You know that I give you_very_ good presents every year!"

"Hah!"

"Well, they're better than what Inu- that man buys you, that's for sure!"

"Well...you have a point..."

Kikyo smiled smugly, "See?"

"...But he pays up for it in bed..."

Kikyo reddened, "Are you saying I should pay up for it in bed too?"

Kagome almost choked. "Kikyo!"

Kikyo laughed until tears came to her eyes.

"Oh Kagome! You walked face-first into that one!"

Kagome folded her arms over her chest to appear indignant, but only succeeded in painting her nose. And making Kikyo laugh harder.

"Oh fudge it, I'm getting ice cream!"

"Ice cream! Kagome! It's thirty degrees outside, and going down fast!"

Kagome looked blankly at Kikyo. "And your point is?"

Kikyo shook her head at Kagome as she sauntered off to the kitchenette and pulled out her ice cream maker. The one that _Kikyo_ has bought her for her birthday last year.

While Kagome was distracted with deciding what flavor ice cream she wanted - the war was between pistachio-almond and rainbow sherbert - Kikyo went over to her corner and pulled off the sheet covering her canvas and started to work on her landscape.

* * *

Kikyo closed her door later that evening and dropped her keys in the bowl that sat on the table in the foyer, under the pretty vintage mirror. She looked at herself in the mirror, running her fingers along her cheek bone and jaw line. Her eyes looked back at her with melancholy and her hand touch the necklace that sat above her breasts. She closed her eyes, her thoughts running to her lover. 

_When Kikyo's breathing had returned to normal she rolled over and wrapped her arms around his waist, delivering a chaste kiss to his chest. He brought his arm around her back, held her close, and kissed her forehead. She looked up at him with all her love in her eyes and smiled. He smiled back then threw his arm over his eyes and began to relax some more. T__hey lay there, limbs intertwined for half an hour before Kikyo sat up and inched her way off the bed; his hand shot out to wrap around her wrist, stopping her from escaping. _

"_Where are you going?" he asked, his voice deep and hoarse from their love making._

"_To the bathroom," she replied, then lifted her hand to kiss his wrist. He grinned at her._

"_Don't leave me alone for too long or I'll have to come looking for you."_

_She gave a little laugh, stood up and padded to the bathroom to clean herself up._

_When she came back her lover was sitting up in the bed, his back propped against some pillows, his arm resting on his drawn knee, relaxed at the wrist, gazing lazily at her and grinning like a rake._ _He lifted his other hand, silently beckoning her to come to her master and commander. The master of her soul; the commander of her heart. She obediently did as he wished, for she wished it too. She wanted him for as long as she could keep him, and she dreaded it wouldn't be for long. Their relationship was of the treacherous kind._

_Not liking where her thoughts had taken her she concentrated on the man before her. So rugged, so beautiful. No man had made her feel so much like a woman, no man had made her weak in the knees. No man had made her sin before._

"_Close your eyes," he whispered as she came to sit on the bed next to him, and she did._

_He leaned close to her and she felt something cool press against the skin at her throat, and she could feel his breath by her ear. Then he leaned back and said, "You can open them now."_

_She opened her eyes to look directly into his, then looked down at where a beautiful diamond necklace lay, the tiny pendant snuggled between the rises of her bare breasts. She gasped with surprised delight. Tears came to her eyes. She did not deserve such a treasure._

_She looked up at him and he must have sensed her rejection for he put a finger to her lips._

"_Shh, please take it, baby. I want you to have it."_

"_But I can't-"_

"_Please, Kikyo. Please take it. It would make me," he took a deep breath, " very happy."_

_Kikyo looked him in the eyes and saw the sincerity in them, and glanced down at the rare stone. Then she smiled and threw her arms around his neck, throwing him off balanced and tumbling them both to the floor in a heap of laughter and kisses._

Kikyo opened her eyes again and looked at herself in the mirror, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. How could she have done it? Sinned like that? She was so tired of being lonely, and she didn't want to lose him, but she knew she would end up losing in the end. And she would lose much more than her heart for her sin was too great, her lies not repairable. "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men," she whispered, then drew a shaky breath, " - men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness." Then she covered her face with her hands and fell to her knees and wept. "God, forgive me."

Romans 1:18

To Be Continued.

**Dedicated to: Arielle Jackson, for almost always never finding something wrong in my stories , and for other more personal reasons - she knows what I mean.**

**Many Thanks to: Elizabeth McNab, for almost always finding something wrong, and helping me fix it . I love a critic with useful suggestions! Keep on bringing them!**

**Thanks To: Adonis, my sex advisor .**

**Shout Out to: All my fans ALL over the world (giggles). Annie and Emilia, where would I be without you? You like me! You really, really like me! (breaks down in tears).**

Author's note: I don't know who in the world would waste their time reading my author's notes, but here goes nothing. I admit, I tried my hand at humour- no fear I haven't given up yet- but my tendencies tend to lean toward the serious and angst that floats around in my scary mind. This story is more serious, but there's some angst to be found too, though I hope it will not be over-bearing. Hopefully, this will still be of entertainment to you. And I'm not against a little encouragement in any area (story-wise). Um...hint! hint?


	2. Chapter 2

**Transgressions**

by Rinelwin

**Chapter Two**

Kikyo hugged her jacket closer to her as a cold breeze blew her hair away from her face. She lifted her face to it, reveling in the coldness, wishing it could numb her to this pain she was feeling. To the pain she would inflict to people she'd never meant to hurt.

Oh, how she wished time could be turned back. How she wished she could press pause on the movie of her life, and rewind it to where she wouldn't be in this situation. Or, if not that then maybe she just wished she could be more self-less. So that she could just disappear, and leave everything the way it should be. Then the only one hurt would be her.

But she wasn't self-less. On the contrary, she'd never been more selfish in the entirety of her life. And she was ashamed. Ashamed of herself, of her selfishness, of her actions, of the sinful things she could no longer take back. She'd been thinking a lot lately, of those Sundays her grandma would take her to church. She remembered all the lessons they taught her, but how quickly had she forgotten them.

She reached the doors to the studio and had to blink to bring herself back to reality and out of her treacherous thoughts. They would be of no good to her now, they would only interfere. She knocked and the door opened almost immediately, with a smiling Kagome staring out at her through those ridiculous glasses of hers. She would have to get her a prettier pair one of these days, maybe for her birthday.

Kikyo summoned a smile for her best friend from somewhere in her soul, and prayed for the courage to face another day pretending that nothing was wrong, that she was the same.

Kikyo went to the kitchenette, as usual, for her coffee and hung her jacket up on the bunch of pipes Kagome called a coat-hanger. Kagome went back to work at her new art piece, the one with the man and the waterfall.

"You're not going to wish my death on me this morning?" asked Kikyo, a blatant try at sarcasm.

Kagome gave a weak smile, and mutely shook her head.

Kikyo's brow furrowed. Something wasn't right.

Kagome walked back to her stool and sat down, staring at her painting, wishing the inspiration to return so she could help bring life to this piece.

"Kagome?"

"Hmm?" replied Kagome as she picked up her paint brush. Might as well fix that little mark. She felt Kikyo's hands on her shoulders and twisted her head around to look at her friend.

"What's wrong, Chickadee?"

Kagome sighed. She should've guessed that she wouldn't have been able to hide her disappointment from her best friend.

"It's nothing - I mean, it's _not_ nothing - I just -"

Kikyo wrapped her arms around Kagome just as fresh tears started rolling down her cheeks. _No, not now._

"Oh, Kikyo, I just don't understand! Why!"

Tears filled Kikyo's eyes, and her face lost colour. "Kagome, it's not like that-"

"Yes, I know!" she said as she let out a tiny sob, "Inuyasha keeps saying that over and _over."_

"Wha- What did he tell you?" she asked on a quivering whisper.

"Th-that it's gonna be fine, that we're gonna be ok," she wiped her hand across her cheek, "he says that we'll just move on with our lives, you know? I mean, we're still young..." it took all her strength to avoid dissolving into hysterics at that point.

"Kagome... I'm so, _so_ sorry... I-" Kikyo began, holding her friend even closer.

Kagome continued in a choked whisper, "He says... he says... that it happens when we least expect it, you know?" Kagome stifled another cry.

Kikyo rubbed her friend's cheek. "Kagome..." She didn't realize it at the time, but she too had begun to cry.

" I just- I'm so tired of being disappointed every time, and for making him wait. He would be such a great dad, it's not fair that he has to suffer for my inadequacies... my weaknesses. And," She said, whispering the last part, staring at the wall, "There's still apart of me that feels that something will go terribly wrong."

Kikyo looked at her friend, her heart clenching at her words.

"You'll be fine," she whispered, and the words seemed to echo to the depth of her soul.

Kagome's eyes met hers and she forced a smile.

_You'll be fine._

* * *

A shaft of evening sunlight peeked through an uncovered part of the window into the semi-darkness of the bedroom.

Kikyo was lying in her bed staring at the lifeless specks of dust that were dancing merrily in and around the light.

She looked to her right at her lover as he lay there with his eyes closed, his energy resources momentarily depleted. His arm was thrown across her breast in a loving manner, and Kikyo stared at his unmarred features. They were relaxed and she realized how much softer he looked this way. Like a different person, not nearly so loud and arrogant.

Kikyo slid out from under his arm and sat up, the sheet falling away to display her nakedness. She looked over her shoulder at him. His naked chest was exposed from her movement and his arm was lying where she'd been a few seconds before.

"How long do you think you can stay today?" she asked, still watching him intently.

His intense eyes opened and clashed with hers.

And then she saw it...

"For as long as I can," he answered.

... a beautiful angel, hand stretched out toward...

"Which, I guess, means until five," he continued.

... someone else. But his eyes...

"Kikyo?"

... were fixed on _her_.

"Huh?" she asked, snapping back to reality.

"Were you even listening?" he asked, irately.

A smile broke out on her face, "Yes, I dare say, I heard everything."

To Be Continued.

**Many thanks to: **

**Elizabeth McNab for being an awesome beta reader and for supplying me with the "vision" that Kikyo sees in the last scene. **

**Ty "Manipulador" Otto for helping me with the summary and for reading over this chapter for me.**

Author's Notes: Sorry for being so, so late! I tried, but I had to rewrite it and rewrite it before it could come to my liking. Thank you for being patient with me . And I hope you like this chapter, though it is shorter than the last one. Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Transgressions**

by Rinelwin

**Chapter Three**

Inspiration is a fickle thing. It is never steady or reliable. It never knocks before entering, never warns when it'll leave. The smallest thing can bring it, and something just as small can take it away.

"_This has to end, you know it does," she told him. _

So, when inspiration comes it must be followed, wherever it goes. For it can never be tamed, never held at one's convenience. It is like the wind. Never captured.

"_Why? Why does it have to end?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. _

Never captured.

"_Because it's wrong. You know it just as well as I do," she answered. _

Kikyo pulled the curtain away from the window bathing the whole room in the morning light. There were her tools, the translators of inspiration.

"_Why, damn it, WHY!" he demanded, rubbing the heel of his hands into his eyes. He turned around to glared at her. "Three months. Three fucking months and you've already tired yourself of me, haven't you?" _

She sat down in her chair, and stared at the empty canvas. Three minutes and thirty-seven seconds later she grabbed her soft-lead pencil and began to sketch.

_She just stared at him, eyes filled with tears._

A line here, and another there. Just lines. Scratches on a piece of paper. They were nothing, yet.

"_HAVEN'T YOU!"  
_

Her hand was moving, it seemed, as if it had its own mind and she, only the medium in which it could create its masterpiece.

"_No, I haven't. But I _am_ tired. I'm tired of _hurting. _Tired of carrying this guilt," tears fell down her cheeks, her hands flying through the air, conveying her distress. "I- I'm tired of loving you in secret, of these stolen moments that end before they even begin. I'm tired of being jealous. Tired of being a bad person. I want my life back. I want my fucking _pride_ back." _

She was conscious only of the canvas with its scratches of lead, and nothing else.

_His face softened, the anger floating away like a leaf in a stream. "I understand you, I do, but I can't bare the idea of not having you to look forward to everyday. You're what gives my life meaning, what you give me is like the air I breathe. And if you leave me I'll be a drowning man, Kikyo. I'll die slowly, without you there to give me life." _

A cool breeze blew in from the window making the curtain dance to its unspoken music.

_He walked up to her and took her in his arms, whispering in her ear, "Please don't leave me." _

Her bangs escaped from their place behind her ears and flew in front of her eyes causing her hands to pause in the middle of their quest for creation.

_Kikyo's eyes flooded with tears again, but she lifted her arms to embrace him, her eyes slowly closing as she buried her head in his neck. "This will never last, you know this just as well as I," she said around the lump in her throat. It seemed that, she was never meant to have what she wanted.  
_

Brushing them away, her eyes came to rest on the once empty canvas. And she stared.

_He pulled away from her, his eyes staring into hers so that it seemed she could see right through him. "I know," he said, then bent his head and kissed her, driving away all thoughts of unfulfilled hopes and dreams._

There, in the middle of the scratches was a pair of very familiar eyes.

**To Be Continued.**

**Disclaimer: **I'd actually forgotten to do one of these for this story and it was pointed out to me. I didn't bother editing the first two chapters since this **is** a **fan-fiction** therefore I thought it would be **assumed** that I'm not the owner of the original story. But since it must not be thought of that way, **I don't own the idea, story, anime, manga, or merchandise that is Inuyasha.** There.

**Author's Notes: **Hey everyone! Ok, so this one was updated sooner than I thought it would be, as a result it is a bit short. But I'm satisfied with how it came out. I'm leaving on my summer-long vacation in a week. I will be taking my laptop and working on the next chapter, but I'm not sure if I'll have any internet access, so please be patient. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Transgressions**

by Rinelwin

**Chapter Four**

Kagome picked through the brushes, feeling the tips, caressing their wooden handles, scrutinizing each carefully. The brushes were very important. If they weren't perfect then, how could one expect one's painting to be any better?

Kagome always took her brushes seriously. Very seriously.

"Ok, Kagome, you can stop glaring at that brush. You're scaring the clerk," said Kikyo, who already had her purchases in her hand, bagged and paid for.

"Alright, alright, almost done!"

Thirty minutes later Kagome emerges happily from the supply store, her treasures in hand followed by Kikyo who rolled her eyes at Kagome's childish glee, and the fact that "almost done" had turned out to be thirty minutes.

Kagome glanced at her watch and noticed the hour.

"Oh, geez!" she exclaimed.

"I'm glad you noticed," said Kikyo, wryly.

"It's almost time for lunch!" continued Kagome, ignoring Kikyo's comment. Yes, selective hearing is a good - and handy! - thing.

Kikyo rolled her eyes again.

Kagome rummaged excitedly through her purse and pulled out her cell phone.

"Inuyasha promised me lunch today," she said happily as she dialed his number.

Kikyo's eyebrow raised, and she looked at Kagome.

"Oh?"

Kagome nodded, then held up one finger.

"Inuyasha?... It's me... yeah, I was calling to remind you about lunch, where do you want to meet?" Kagome went silent then, waiting for the answer from Inuyasha.

Kikyo waited attentively, fiddling with her purse, pretending to be bored.

"Uh-huh," Kagome said, then proceeded to listen some more, a slight frown marring her face.

Taking her eyes off Kagome, Kikyo looked around, noting the taxis passing by, the busy side-walk, the couple holding hands. She sighed and looked to the floor. Nothing hurtful there. No taunting visions of what she could never have.

Kagome slapped her cell phone shut and took a deep breath.

Kikyo returned her gaze to her friend.

"He can't have lunch with me," she said, mouth taut in anger. "Apparently, he has a board meeting he'd forgotten about," she swallowed. "Why does he always do this to me, Kikyo?"

Kikyo sighed and looked away again, her gaze landing on the same couple across the street.

The man was feeding a chocolate to the woman.

"I don't know, Kagome."

"He's been so busy lately. Working late nights. Skipping lunches," she sighed, " I just wish he didn't try so hard."

Kikyo kept staring at the couple, neither of them ashamed to display their love for each other to the world.

"This would've been our first lunch together in a while... I was a little excited I guess,"she exhaled sharply. "Oh, well, would you have lunch with me, buddy?"

Kikyo felt torn. "Well, I kind of-"

"Oh, please Kikyo? I don't really feel like eating alone. Besides, it's been a while, hasn't it?" said Kagome, putting on the charm.

Kikyo sighed. How could she say no to those puppy-dog eyes? "Oh, alright."

"YES!" exclaimed Kagome as she jumped on Kikyo and hugged her. "Have I ever told you before that you are awesome, Kikyo?"

"Not nearly enough," answered Kikyo as she tried to suppress her smile and failed.

"Kikyo, you are awesome! You're awesome, awesome, awesome!"

Kikyo chuckled and shook her head, "Ok, Kagome, cut it out, people are staring."

"Everybody look! The Awesome Kikyo!" Kagome said as she pointed at Kikyo.

Laughing, Kikyo playfully punched Kagome's arm, "Come on, let's get our food."

"'Kay," said Kagome in between giggles.

"And we're switching you to decaf, sistah."

Kagome raise her hand to her forehead in a mock salute, "Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

The waiter left with their orders and Kagome took a sip from her water.

"This is nice," said Kagome.

Kikyo looked at Kagome who was perusing the restaurant through her monster glasses.

"You really should get a new pair of glasses, Kagome."

Kagome looked at Kikyo, "There's nothing wrong with the ones I have now."

"They look like my grandmother's."

Kagome chuckled, "Maybe they _are_ your grandmother's!"

"Kagome, be serious!"

"I'm not like you Kikyo, fashion doesn't interest me. Not in the least. Besides, there is more to life than clothes or shoes or hair. Or beauty!"

Kikyo raised her eyebrow in mock skepticism, "Oh? Like what?"

Kagome pretended to think about it, "Like literature. Art. History. _Love_. The kind of things that can take a stand against time and say, 'Come get me, you sum' bitch!' "

Kikyo chuckled to herself as she rolled her eyes. Kagome's commentary would never cease to entertain, but just as she was to reply with a "whatever, Kagome" she was interrupted by the sound of her ringing cell phone.

"Ugh...damn phone," she muttered as she rummaged through her purse and finally pulled it out and flipped it open. She read the name of her caller and her eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me," she said quickly, and got up to walk outside.

Kagome let out a sigh and took another sip of water. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the table, waiting for Kikyo to come back, feeling bored and a little self-conscious. She let out a disgusted snort. Not alone for one second and she was already crawling back into her shell of "Mouse-dom." She really needed to get over highschool.

She looked around the restaurant again. It was a nice place. Had a nice atmosphere. It was small and cute, and from the smell coming from the kitchen and passing trays, the food should be good. Maybe, she should convince Inuyasha to bring her here one of these days. They needed some together time, and this little place was perfect for it.

Kikyo returned to their table at the same time the waiter brought their food. Her face was serious, her mouth set in a straight line, and her earlier light attitude was gone.

_Is it something to do with that phone call? _

After the waiter left Kagome took her chance.

"Kikyo? What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Nothing, why?"

"You seem... mad about something. Distracted," Kagome answered. "You sure nothing's wrong?"

Kikyo looked down at her plate and busied herself with her food. Kagome frowned. This wasn't like Kikyo at all.

Kikyo swallowed down the ball in her throat, fought back the oncoming tears. She shouldn't be crying. Not now. She'd done the right thing, for once.

"Kikyo-"

Kikyo glanced up Kagome. Her friend was looking at her with a worried expression on her face, so Kikyo tried to smile.

"I'm ok. This restaurant's cute isn't it?"

"Kikyo. Tell me."

Kikyo sighed and looked away.

A few precious seconds passed as Kagome waited.

Finally, Kikyo looked her in the eyes and said, "It's - It's a man," and swallowed again.

**To Be Continued.**

**Disclaimer: **I'd actually forgotten to do one of these for this story and it was pointed out to me. I didn't bother editing the first two chapters since this **is** a **fan-fiction** therefore I thought it would be **assumed** that I'm not the owner of the original story. But since it must not be thought of that way, **I don't own the idea, story, anime, manga, or merchandise that is Inuyasha.** There.

**Virtual Puppy Award goes to: **ColdKikyo! For being there since chapter one! Thank you!

**Ultra Special Author's Notes: **I will be going on a two-month long vacation to the Caribbean on Saturday. My internet access will be limited so I'm not sure if I'll be able to update, and although I will try I make no promises.

**Thanks to: **my beta, Elizabeth Mcnab.


	5. Chapter 5

**Transgressions**

By Rinelwin

**Chapter Five**

Disclaimer and Author's notes at bottom.

_Italics - _thoughts.

She was supposed to feel relief; relief at finally getting this horrible secret off her chest, relief because this was the end of her sinful desires. Not because she no longer felt those desires, but because the truth would snuff them out for good.

The delight she saw appearing on her friend's face pushed her to hastily add, "No, Kagome, it's not what you think it is."

"But this is great!" Kagome said.

Kikyo shook her head. "No, it isn't, let me finish," she paused to take a deep breath for courage then added "I've been a horrible person, Kagome."

A look of confusion passed over Kagome's features, and she said, "What? A horrible - that's ridiculous! Kikyo what are you - "

Kikyo held up a hand to silence Kagome before she could start a full blown lecture. "Kagome, listen to me. I need to tell you about this; after I'm done then you can rethink your high opinion of me."

Kagome stared at her friend; something was really bothering her, and if telling someone about it would help her then Kagome would listen. She nodded to let Kikyo know that she was listening, and that she could continue.

Kikyo turned her stare to the napkin she was currently annihilating and swallowed some of the fear that was rising in her throat. She'd started this, and now she had to finish it.

"Well," she started, then let out a self-reprimanding chuckle as she realized her mind was in a jumble. "Great, now I don't know where to start."

Kagome smiled a little to calm her friend's nerves, and said, "I realize I am in risk of sounding really cliche with what I'm about to say, but the beginning would be best."

Kikyo's lips lifted in one corner as she replied, "That's pretty vague."

Kagome chuckled, "You know what I meant."

Kikyo sobered once more. "Well, I guess the first thing I should say is: the relationship I have with... this man... is... not normal."

"The word 'normal' itself _is_ subject to the law of relativity - "

"Ok, let's put it this way, then. The average unmarried couple is made up of one single woman, and one single man. Anything other than that isn't average and is usually categorized as 'not normal.'"

"So? What does that me - oh!"

Kikyo cast her eyes down to the fingers still fiddling with the napkin and nodded.

"So he's... he's..."

"Married," Kikyo supplied in a whisper, her eyes still focused on her fingers.

"Kikyo," said Kagome sadly. "Why are you doing it?" she asked gently.

Kikyo's eyes filled with tears that never seemed to be very far. "I - I tried not to, I swear, Kagome! I - I just... I don't know h-how - " she broke off to take several breaths in order to keep the sobs threatening to break loose at bay.

After a few seconds, she felt that she was ready to give her confession another try, and she continued. "I tried so hard to stay away from him, at first," she said. "Actually, we both tried our hardest to ignore one another... and the attraction we felt for each other." Her fingers worked relentlessly at the napkin and her tongue darted out nervously to wet her dry lips. "I never thought I would ever stoop this low, Kagome," Kikyo whispered.

Kagome took one of Kikyo's hands in hers, and said, "You must love him?"

Kikyo's eyes met Kagome's.

"Would it make any difference if I did?" Kikyo asked. "He's still married, and it's still a sin, what I'm doing," she said.

"Not a difference, no. But if you love him it'd make much more sense to me, the reason for you doing this. To me, it would make it understandable, and not low at all. So, do you love him?"

Did she love him? More than anything. He'd made her do things - feel things! - like no else had before. She couldn't stop thinking of him, his arrogant smiles, his masculine chuckle and light snores, his obsession with scents and sharp, pointy objects. She couldn't stop thinking about him, she'd sinned for him, and she think, if given the choice, she'd die to save him. "Yes," she said, finally. "I love him."

Kagome grinned, "Then what are you waiting for? Fight for him! Fight for your love!" she said, ending her proclamation with a dramatic fist raised over her head.

Kikyo shook her head, looking down, ashamed. "You're forgetting one very important thing."

"What's that?" asked Kagome.

"His wife," answered Kikyo. "He loves her."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, he's married to her."

"Yeah, but if he's having an affair, he doesn't love her anymore," said Kagome, with confidence.

Kikyo looked up sadly at her friend, but to her shame, she wished Kagome was right. "You think so?"

"Yes," Kagome said, nodding with conviction. "The only reason that would make me cheat on Inuyasha would be if I didn't love him anymore. So, fight for your love."

Kikyo looked once more at her brutalized napkin, and said, "Don't give me advice like that, Kagome. You don't know what you're saying."

"Oh yes I do. Kikyo," she said, grabbing both her friend's hands, forcing her to look her in the eyes. "Love is very special. It's wonderful, there's nothing else like it in the world!" said Kagome, smiling happily.

Kikyo felt sick.

Kagome continued, adopting a Ewan McGregor voice, "_Love_ is like oxygen! _Love_ is a many splendid thing! Love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"

Kikyo tried to smile at her friend's antics.

She added, "Loving is not a sin; Love was made by God. Not many people find love in this life, Kikyo, so when if you do find it you must hang on to it."

Kikyo let those words turned in her head as she stared into the depths of her glass.

_Loving... is not a sin... it was made by... made by God... Loving is not a sin...by God..._

**To Be Continued.**

**Disclaimer: **I'd actually forgotten to do one of these for this story and it was pointed out to me. I didn't bother editing the first two chapters since this **is** a **fan-fiction** therefore I thought it would be **assumed** that I'm not the owner of the original story. But since it must not be thought of that way, **I don't own the idea, story, anime, manga, or merchandise that is Inuyasha.** There.

Paraphrase: Elizabeth Mcnab.

Quotes: Moulin Rouge, Tristan and Isolde.

**Author's Notes: **Yay! I've managed to update a chapter from vacation. It was a pretty hard chapter to start, but once I got the beginning down the rest flowed nicely. I hope you like it! I decided that once this story's done I'll start revising it; hopefully the ideas I have to add on to it can stick in my head for that long ' . Thanks for reading! I'd love if you spare the time to review and leave thoughts or comments about the story, or my writing style (if there is one to comment about :P), or my not-dependable updating schedule. Till next time...


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